“Okay, here’s the situation…”
I’m going to have some financial-oriented content to post soon, a series of articles about debt and my experience with it. I thought about starting a whole new blog for it, but let’s face it: I start new blogs and then run out of things to say and then they die. I don’t need another online space to get abandoned right now.
So I’ll put the articles I want to write here under the Monies category, which has been previously used for income and expenses. I’m not doing those because I don’t have writing income to speak of (and because last year depression got in the way of continuing that content).
It’ll be kind of personal stuff because that’s my level of experience. It’ll be kind of personal stuff because when I can find personal stories like mine, it’s so incredibly helpful and cathartic. I want more of those stories out there. I want to personally reinforce to myself what I’ve learned. I want to share so if someone else stops by and is right now where I was 10 years ago, they could maybe avoid some of my mistakes.
That’s what’s coming up. Just thought I’d warn you.
I am alive! It was a close thing, let me tell you.
And it’s not over.
But the terrifying thing on Monday did not kill me. This is the good news. The bad news is that the terrifying thing pointed out that maybe I cannot make writing a full-time gig this year.
There’s a certain amount of relief in saying that, you know?
My free time, of which I have a small amount, will now primarily be taken up by things that can bring income into my pockets. With the stress that’s been swirling around lately, that’s not writing. It could be, but it’s not right now. Maybe once I cool down a bit. When my mind clears.
(The saying that is plastered on my writing laptop, that waiting for inspiration to write is like standing at the airport waiting for a train tickles the back of my brain, a painful suggestion that maybe I should be trying to write anyway.)
In the meantime, I will be cleaning other people’s homes on a part-time basis. I will also be typing for money. I’ll get better at both with practice, as one does who is willing to learn. I hope it will be enough, and then I still get to see my family.
Ultimately, I remind myself that our family is generally healthy, and as long as we have each other, everything will be okay. It might suck, but it will be okay.
That is the status of things. Happy March.
I did a kind of scary thing last night, and that was to take a really good look at the mess that is not my family’s budget.
That is to say, I faced the fact that I don’t have a functional budget, and I reached out for help.
I’m scared, but also already a little bit less scared. I’m embarrassed, but also a little bit less embarrassed.
I know people have these problems, and I know they do not talk about them. It’s hard to know when it’s too personal, and when it’s OK to say, “Hey, I have this problem. Do you? You do? Oh, hey, there’s someone who can help us! Let’s go fix this.”
I’m going to stick my arm up in the air and risk crossing the “TMI” line.
I don’t have a budget. I kind of know what I should be doing, but there are so many fears in my way preventing me from figuring out how to do those things.
What if X? What if Y? What if Z, A, E, L, X, K, M, F, and P???
I’m scared, but there is so much stress bound up in this that I can’t avoid it any more. I can’t pretend I can fix it myself any more. I want my life back. I need to be able to focus on fixing other things.
I’m scrd. And terrfd.
Greetings and salutations! Please enjoy this selection from A Brief History of Space Cats, and the Care and Feeding Thereof by Sarah Ever. Written by the main character from Space Cats from Space, these entries form a resource for feline companions to help them ease the transition from cat “owner” to their true role as caretaker and, possibly, human slave. Please enjoy! Continue reading “M is for Money – #AtoZChallenge”